Getting that Perfect Christmas Card Photo

A few days ago, I received my first Christmas card of the season. While I was excited to see a friend's family and read the message, it also filled me with angst.

One card photo from Hilton Head, S.C.

 It's not so much the sending of cards that gets me, it's the dread of trying to get a cute family photo that puts me in a cold sweat. For some reason, every other American family can easily snap a family photo, slap it on a card and send. For instance, I have a cousin who every year sends a darling photo of his son and dog. Every year the card looks like a Ralph Lauren ad complete with a blazing fire or freshly fallen snow. Then there's always some family, rosy cheeks and all, perched on a mountain top holding skies. It makes me want to flick them off with my fingers.

I'm not a Grinch, really I'm not. It's just the pressure of coming up with some cute idea, much less making my family go along with it. Last year, I got a reprieve having gone through cancer treatment. It was great. Expectations of me were so low that if I sent an email I was congratulated. But now, I have no excuse.

On the shore of Lake Michigan

One year when my daughter was a toddler and we were decorating the tree, I simply draped a string of lights around her with a message "We hope your holiday is bright." Then another year, I was a crazed mom who brought Santa hats with us on vacation to Colorado. I made my kids perch on a rocky overlook with the hats on. They absolutely hated the ordeal until other hikers started cooing over them. Then, naturally, my kids started to ham it up and I couldn't get them down. I've even done something that would cause most parenting experts to wag their bony fingers at me. I've bribed my kids to be agreeable and take a good photo. Yes, it's true. They've gotten candy, movies and toys out of this task. I can hear the "tsk, tsk, tsk."

So this year, what am I going to do? Put them on the beach holding a fish? Make them sit on our town's "Tropical Santa" lap?" All would hate that but it would make me laugh. Oh, I just got an idea! Take their photo with them holding star fish in front of their eyes with a "starry night" message. Too hokey?

Wondering what I will bribe my kids with this year. They're older now and the bribes are getting more expensive.

The Wondering Texan

Decorating Coastal Style

Ho Hum, let's see. New house. New community. Same old Christmas decorations. I'm wondering how to spice up my decor with lighter colors and a coastal sense of humor.

Of course, I can't throw out my Santa collection. And some things in the classic red and green color scheme must stay. Plus, I don't have an unlimited budget! And... I did shop on Cyber Monday making budget tighter.

But still there's got to be ways to reuse, refresh and restore the spirit. Here's how I did it.

First, I challenged myself to shop locally in my small town (population 8,500). Then, I tried to reuse as much as I have. Thirdly, not to spend a lot of money.

I started out going to a few of my favorite shops -- Comforts of Home and Maison -- to get some inspiration. At Maison I also got a complimentary glass of champagne. Woo Yaa!

At the stores I noticed colored rocks lining the bottom of jars with decorations on top. But at $20 per packet of rocks, they were not in my budget. So, I went to Walmart and bought colored bath salts to fill my hurricane glass. I topped it with my star fish and dropped in some silver balls. A bonus is it smells great and I get to soak in the salts after Christmas. Plus, the salts cost $4. In another hurricane candle holder, I added a red candle accented with colored light bulbs. Woo Yaa!

I love the color of lime green so I decide to sub-out some of the standard red ribbons in my wreaths with lime green ones. I also bought some lime green floral decor with sparkles to add some punch to my swags. It's amazing what a person can do with twister's and hot glue.

But one of my biggest changes was to make decorations out of starfish for my outdoor lighted potted trees. It was so easy, I'm almost embarrassed to admit it. I bought 12 starfish in two sizes from a local shell shop. Then I hot glued hooks on the back. Total time - about 5 minutes. I placed the starfish on the trees, then wrapped a string of red wired ribbon around the tree and topped with a lime green bow. 

To punch up my table decor, I reused my red place mats and napkins but added lime green and blue stripe napkins. Place the napkins together on the diagonal to each other, gather up, and then secure with napkin rings. I used my old gold napkin rings. It looks fresh and modern.

In our front cobalt blue pots, I planted hot pink Cyclamen accented with Dusty Miller. Both seem to be deer resistant which is a big issue in our area.

When my husband got home from work, he said, "Wow, the house looks really nice." I wanted to say, "Good, now I'm going to bed."

Then today my friend Winnie, who is an interior designer, stopped by saying how nice the front of the house looks. So, I'd say it's been a success and didn't break the bank.

Wondering how to keep my poinsettias looking fresh through Christmas.

 The Wondering Texan

Quotable Quote:
 My son upon seeing a neighbors light show (it's like the Griswold's house) said to me, "When can we put more lights up? All we have is this puny deer out front!"

Life on King Ranch

Last Saturday we rounded up our tenderfoots to head out to one of the country's largest ranches - King Ranch. The 5:45 a.m. wake up call came early and they grumbled a little, but we enticed them with a warm breakfast cooked by ranch hands as part of the annual Ranch Hands Breakfast. That helped a little.

With their earplugs and ITouches, we (our kids plus one friend) headed out for the little more than an hour road trip. We watched the sun rise over the plains as we headed for Kingsville, a small blip of a town.

"Look, there's real cowboys," my husband told the kids. I could feel the roll of the eyes behind me.

Branding aprons.

The King Ranch is really amazing. The vastness of the place. The quietness. The wildlife and the history. The fabled ranch began in the late 1800s when boat captain Richard King along with a partner bought a 15,500-acre Mexican land grant named Rincon de Santa Gertrudis. Over the century, the family added acreage to make it 825,000 acres and diversified its business from cattle to citrus in Florida, along with many other endeavors.

Three men and one calf. We saw many calfs win.

It takes a town to put on this breakfast. Everyone from official ranch employees to town volunteers help with the shindig. And it's not only food they dish out, but history and education. Demonstrations of branding, calf roping, weaving, and cowboy entertainment kept the morning lively.

Our son had a great time looking at the longhorns, cheering the calf roping competitors, and watching the branding of King Ranch aprons. Our daughter and her friend, well they liked it. But a trip to the mall would have trumped King Ranch.

Coffee anyone?

Afterwards, we toured the museum which is loaded with buggies, old cars and photographs. We tried to tour the ranch, but the next available tour group was 2.5 hours later. We knew we couldn't keep three kids amused for that long before the tour. We'll save that for another time.

As we ended our time on the ranch we marveled at how it's stayed together over more than a century. It's weathered the Civil War, the Depression, droughts, floods, hurricanes, and the ebbs and flows of time.

Wondering when we can get back.

The Wondering Texan

Just a thumb-size portion on the ranch.

City kids love horses.

A Letter to Santa

I think I'll add this to his baby book.

'Tis the time for children to mull over catalogs, circle items and argue that they really have been good all year. It's no different in my household.

Last week, a catalog came in the mail and my 10-year-old son promptly grabbed it and circled about 15 things he wanted. Then, he sat down and wrote to the Head Honcho, Santa.

His letter is so sweet, I had to share it.

"Dear Santa,

I have been a very good boy this year & I don't want much but one of my wishes is that my family can be heathy (sic) & happy. I was also thinking about the fact that almost no one even belives (sic) in you. That gets me upset, but don't worry, I still belive (sic) in you. But don't worry about them besides you'll always have me & when I grow up, my children & etc. So Santa, live on! Happy Holidays."

Relaxing by the fire.

Although going through a major illness was truly earth shattering, I do believe that it also had some upsides. One is that my family has learned not to take each other for granted. I'd like to think my children have a more balanced perspective on what's important. Also, we have learned to slow down and enjoy the seasons.

For example, last weekend, my husband and I burned some pinon wood in the fire pit enjoying the crackling sound and earthy smell. With our feet propped up, we looked at each other and savored the moment. Then my husband said, "You're my best friend."

Wondering if Santa can bottle moments like that.

The Wondering Texan

Serving Ick for Dinner

Well, here I am. It's a little after 10 p.m., the kids are in bed and the dogs have been in bed and snoring for hours. I'm waiting for my husband to return home after a four-day business trip.

Looks like a science experiment with worms.

The house is quiet except for the ticking of the wall clock.

This moment is especially pleasurable because today my OCD kicked in and I went on a cleaning rampage in anticipation of my husband's return. I scoured toilets, wiped mirrors, used Clorox on just about every surface, and changed bedsheets. Then, I thought I'd be a super nice wife and make him a hearty dinner, keep it warm, and have a glass of wine with him. It was a good thought, but I just chose the wrong thing to cook.

After I "doctored" it some.

I chose beef stroganoff from the Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book, circa 1981.  The cookbook was given to me in 1987 by my late mother. She inscribed it with "This is one of the best. Enjoy. Love Mom." She had great handwriting which, sadly, is not a genetic trait.

Anyway, I bought the ingredients, pulled out my big cast iron Dutch Oven pot, and got to work as my son completed his homework. I floured and salted the beef tenderloin cubes, buttered the pot, chopped the onions, and spooned in the tomato paste. Stirred, tasted and salted the concoction.

But a funny thing happened as I was cooking. Life interrupted. First, my son kept peppering me with math questions. This is never a good thing. After all, there is a reason I studied Journalism. Then my daughter pulled herself up to the breakfast bar. She carefully laid out a clothes catalog and told me which items she wants for Christmas. Then she said to me, "Mom, I know where you can hide the Christmas presents this year."

"Well, if you tell me where to hide them, that's not exactly hiding them," I said.

Then, I stepped backwards and nearly tripped over a dog. 

I definitely wasn't having a Martha moment. But I continued to read the recipe and kept thinking, "Hum, this is a lot of flour it's asking for."

The taste was kind of bland and gritty so I added more wine. And some parsley. And more garlic. And a little more wine.

Finally, I gave up and served it to my children. Along with steamed asparagus drizzled with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. They were so delighted.

So, in conclusion, I guess I'm better at making dishes calling for Rotel, cream of mushroom soup, chili powder and/or chicken broth.

Although my husband will probably prefer the leftover brisket from Sunday night, I'm sure he'll appreciate my effort. That, and the fresh pine scent the house has.

Wondering where exactly did I go wrong?

The Wondering Texan

Throwing a Downhome Thanksgiving for the Brits

Last Saturday night, our neighbors Judy and Les hosted a real American Thanksgiving for their visiting British friends who came to South Texas for a little sun, seafood, and everything Western. So with that, Brits John and Nora experienced their first Thanksgiving celebration marshmallows and all.

Instead of giving you the blow-by-blow of the party, here are snippets of conversations that I think you will enjoy. Try to imagine the British accents of John and Nora while reading.

Conversation #1: Let There Be Sun
John:  "We went to the grocery store today and a guy came up to me saying he hasn't seen white legs like mine in quite a while. I told him, 'yes I know. They're like milk jugs."

Conversation #2: A Cowgirl Hat for Mum
Nora: " I bought a cowgirl hat to wear to the King Ranch."
Me: "Oh really? What does it look like?"
Neighbor Judy: "It's lime green and rolled up along the sides."
My thought: Only a British mum could get away with wearing a lime green straw cowgirl hat to the King Ranch and not get cattle prodded.

Conversation #3: I'm a Little Tea Pot
John: "At Walmart I asked the sales lady where the tea pots are. She took me to these big tea brewing things. 'No I said, a tea pot. A little tea pot.' She got confused so I gave up."

Conversation #4: More Marshmallows Please
Nora: "Oh, you put marshmallows on sweet potatoes?"

Conversation #5: Cranberries and Taters
Neighbor Winnie: "Did you see he put the cranberry sauce on his potatoes?"

Conversation #6: Watch the Nails
Neighbor Judy: "We went and got our nails done yesterday. Nora started to put on her seat belt and I screamed at her 'No! You will mess up your nails.'
Nora: "So I asked, 'But won't we get in trouble with the police?"
Judy: "I told her they won't bother us. So she perched on the front of her seat with her fingers in front of the air conditioner vent."
Me to Nora: "Men in Texas know not to bother us when it comes to our hair and nails."

Conversation #7: Poor Camilla
Me: "What did you guys think of the royal wedding?"
Nora: "Oh we had a block party. It was a lovely wedding. She's a lovely girl."
John: "To think, Charles preferred Camilla over Diana! Camilla is a cow."
Nora: "She's lazy. And everybody thinks Diana was murdered."

Conversation #8: No Botox Necessary
Judy: "We took them to eat a Tex-Mex breakfast."
Nora: "Oh my Lord! I took a bite and it had a jalapeno in it. My lips swelled up. I didn't need botox."
Winnie: "Maybe you had an allergic reaction?"
Nora: "You eat those with breakfast?"
Me: "They're really good wrapped in bacon."
Winnie: "With cream cheese."
Judy: "Grilled or fried."

Mock boots. Got 'em in Fort Worth.

Conversation #9: I Gotta Get Me Some of Those Boots
Ex-Rancher Warren: "Hey I liked those boots you wore last weekend. I need some."
Me: "Thanks. But I don't know if they make them for men."
Warren: "They are exactly what I need. I barely can pull mine off anymore."

Conversation #10: The End of the Night
John: "Good night luv."

Wondering if I should buy a cowgirl hat?

The Wondering Texan

The $150 Wrench

The offending wrench.

Late last week as my husband drove my car to work, the back tire blew out. Since we had to order a new tire, we used my husband's car over the weekend. Family of four down to one car. Not easy.

When the new tire arrived and was being put on, one of the mechanics came over and told me my Buick was ready. I corrected him and said I don't own the Buick. "Oh, then you're the wrench lady," he told me.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Come over here," he beckoned. "Hey Dave, here's the wrench lady."

Dave pulled off of the shelf a gray, metal wrench and handed it to me. "When I was taking off your hubcap, I heard a rattling. At first I thought the sensory was blown. But then I pulled out the wrench. In all of my years of being a mechanic, I've pulled out box cutters, rebar, nails, but never, ever, a wrench."

So, the wrench was the culprit. I called my husband and told him, "We just bought a $150 wrench," I joked. Of course, my son thinks it's really cool and wanted the wrench.

When my husband got home from work, I handed him the "new" wrench.

Wondering how in the heck a wrench could puncture a tire?

The Wondering Texan

Quotable Quote:
Our neighbors are hosting some friends from Liverpool, England, for two weeks. We went over the other night to meet them. They commented on how big vehicles are here and specifically about the F250 our neighbor drives. In his endearing British voice, John said, "I've never driven down a highway in a condo before."

This Saturday, they are hosting a traditional American Thanksgiving for their guests. Should be fun.