Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Long Process Back to Cleavage

Back on June 22, I had my breast reconstruction. As I mentioned in my previous blog, it wasn't an easy surgery. Luckily, growing the "girls" is a lot easier.

One of the charming scenes in downtown Fredericksburg.
I was in Fort Worth for three weeks to receive weekly injections to stretch the skin and muscle. Ironically, this coincided with my 30th high school reunion. I have to admit, having perky new cleavage for my high school reunion was awesome.

The view from the Pedernales Cellars winery.
One night I modeled for my husband several dresses looking for the perfect one for the reunion dinner. A side product of having reconstruction is that you almost get a new wardrobe. You wouldn't think having cleavage would be a big deal. And I wasn't hugely endowed before. But it's amazing how even a little cleavage helps fill out dresses or tank tops and what it does for your morale.

No, we didn't see Waylon and the boys.
So, with the perfect dress packed, I left for Fort Worth for my "fills" and reunion. Getting a "fill" is kind of like expanding a water balloon. Not knowing exactly how this was going to work, I imagined the nurse coming in with a huge needle attached to something like a Super Soaker water gun in which she would pump me full of water. Well, I was semi-correct. The nurse came in and rolled a port finder over my chest.

"Hey, it's like a stud finder," I joked. "My husband has one of these in his toolbox."

The finder shows the nurse where the port entrance is, then she inserts a tiny needle which is attached to a little tube and syringe. Slowly, the water is injected. And here's the weird part. It really looks like a water balloon filling. It's instantaneous gratification.

Yes, the injection stung a little but as the nurse quipped, "That's good. Well, it's not good that it hurt you, but it's good that you still have some feeling there...you know, that it's not all numb...for you will...well...it's just that sometimes..."

"I know what you're trying to say," I offered her.

Then the doctor came in and spoke to me about the differences between silicone and saline implants. He suggested silicone.

"But, I want the safest implant," I said. "I don't need anymore drama."

But he assured me silicone is nothing like the previous generations. "It's kind of like a gummy bear," he offered. "If I cut a gummy bear, nothing leaks out."

The difference between the two is that saline can be adjusted to make both sides perfectly symmetrical. But it will be hard like a melon.Whereas, the silicone is a softer, more natural feel.

"If it were me, I would prefer a more natural feel. But you do what you feel is best. It's just that the silicone will be softer..."

Then a funny thought came to me. This is so awkward talking to a man about what feels more natural. But although he is a medical professional with countless hours of medical school and probably a nice school loan to go with it, he is in basic form a man.

Two weeks into my filling process, I met my husband in Fredericksburg, Texas, for a getaway weekend. He had to stay home and work while I underwent my transformation.

When we got to the hotel room, I burst out, "So, you want to see them?"

"Wow, they look good. They're already bigger than the originals."

I don't know why, but I was insulted.

"They are not," I said.

"They are," he said.

"Are not," I said.

"They are bigger," he said.

Then we both looked at each other and smiled at the stupidity of this disagreement. I mean, just what was the point?

"Do you want to go out and walk around," he offered.

So, now I'm in the holding pattern. I have to wait six weeks for the skin and muscle to completely adjust before I can get the expanders taken out and have the permanent implants put in.

Oh, and my high school reunion went great. No one was the wiser of my ordeal and I felt great. And here's a bonus, I was voted as one of five women who physically have changed the least since 1982.

I told me husband, "Isn't that funny? With everything I've been through in the last 2.5 years, my classmates think I haven't changed."

The Wondering Texan








Monday, August 13, 2012

Getting the New "Girls"

Well, it's been a busy summer for me. A week and a half after returning from vacation, I traveled up to Fort Worth for the beginning of my reconstruction surgery. I can't believe it's been two and a half years since my life changed forever.
My back scars about seven weeks after surgery.

I won't gloss this over for anyone who is facing breast reconstruction requiring "flaps." Let me just tell you, it sucks donkeys. That being said though, I'm really glad I went through with it.

First, it's about a four and a half hour surgery in which the doctor takes muscle and skin from the back and relocates it to the chest. Then he/she puts the expanders underneath the skin which will be filled with solution over the next few weeks to stretch the skin out for the permanent silicone or saline implants. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

The very first thought I had when I woke up was 'What the hell was I thinking?' I felt like a herd of elephants had stampeded over my body.

My wonderful nurse gave me hope when she said, "Here's your morphine drip button. You can press it up to three times an hour." Click.

My second thing I thought was 'Thank God for morphine.' Click.

I was told not to move much. The nurse said, "Pretend you are a T Rex with the short arms. Keep your elbows close to your body. That's your range."

OK, that may sound easy. But have you ever tried to wash your hands without extending your arms? Or even pull up your pants without stretching too much? It's not easy. It makes a good case for being a nudist.

On the second day in the hospital, I decided I needed to get up and walk. It would help me feel normal and relieve my back ache. As I held on to my young nurse's arm, we walked past the nurses station. I noticed that all of the nurses seemed to be in their 20s. Then I heard one of the nurses behind the station "whisper" to the other, "Who is that?" The other young nurse responded, "Oh, that's Mrs. X, she's the sweetest lady." What bothered me was the tone of the voice. You know, the sing song kind you save for two-year-olds and 90-year-olds. I guess to them I looked like an old lady shuffling around in my bathrobe and no-skid socks.  I felt like saying, "Girls, I can hear you! I haven't lost that yet."

Joking aside, the most unpleasant part of the whole thing were the four drainage tubes protruding from my body. I also had one "pain pouch" strapped around my neck with a tube going to my back. I guess it's similar to an epidural. They didn't hurt, it's just hard to move, put on clothes, and sleep.

Speaking of sleep, it didn't come easy. As I told my cancer survivor friend Sara, 'I was like a newborn. At first all I did was eat, sleep and poop.' And Sara responded, "Except that you can't poop for about a week after surgery." Thanks Sara for that reminder.

I don't know if it was because of all of the medications, the difficulty moving, or worry, but I seldom got more than three continuous hours of sleep.

Which brings me to a very important point. If going through this surgery, one must have someone there at all times. I will say this is no light duty care the person gives the patient. This person must:
1) Help drain the drains twice a day
2) Help the patient get into and out of bed
3) Make meals
4) Help the patient get dressed
5) Track all medications given
6) Help monitor healing
7) Drive the patient to doctor appointments
8) Be a cheerleader
9) Be on call 24/7

For doing all of this, my dear husband has elevated his status from mortal man to near god status. He has earned his right to throw his dirty laundry on the floor, forget an item off of the grocery list, and most of all, force me to watch three straight hours of PGA coverage on cable. The latter did help my sleep status.

But a week after the surgery, two tubes and the pain tube were removed. Slowly I was returning to normal. But the most encouraging news was when the doctor saw me and said it looked great. He then left and let the nurse remove the tubes. Suddenly, we heard a knock at the door and he popped his head back in. I thought he was going to ask the nurse to help him with something, but instead he looked at me and with an excited voice said, "You really do look great!" He was obviously proud of his work as was I.

Next time, I'll tell you about the filling process. Imagine filling water balloons. Until then, I hope this helps someone who is facing what I have faced.

Wondering which I should get? Silicone or saline?

The Wondering Texan