Passing Along Lake Memories

I practically grew up on a lake. It's something I'm thankful for.

Starting when I was about 8 years old, my parents have had a lake house. First in East Texas which was beautiful, but all of the stumps in the lake would not allow waterskiing. As my brother and I got older, the lure of waterskiing and Sea Doos replaced the excitement of catching crappie and catfish. So, my parents sold that one and bought another closer to town which allows fast moving motorboats.

It is a lake house in every sense of the word. Window A/C units hum keeping the indoor temperature around 74 degrees. The floors are mismatched and I'm not even going to tell you about the bathrooms except that they work. But, it's on the lake with a dock and boat.  

As an adult now, one of my greatest joys is seeing my kids and their friends relish in the simplicity of lake living. For the kids, the main attraction is being pulled behind the boat.

However, this past weekend, the water was way too rough for getting the boat out and pulling kids. As we adults settled in for an afternoon of chatter and brews, the kids were forced to entertain themselves minus motorized sports. Horrors!

And, despite a few whines, the kids had a great time catching bugs, swimming, playing tether ball and chasing the dogs. Without all of the modern convienences, the kids quickly used their brains and imagination to entertain themselves. And by the end of the evening, they all passed out in a sound sleep.

I hope my children when they reach adulthood will have such fond memories of the lake and want to pass the experience along to their children.

Wondering why simplicity still is often the best course in these modern times.

The Wondering Texan

Finding Control When So Much is Out of Your Control

Last week as we were finalizing our home sale, tensions arose between us and the buyers over something seemingly silly. No, it wasn't over the price, closing date or even any repairs. It was over my two-year-old refrigerator. Yes, my GE Profile, side-by-side, stainless steel refrigerator. I wanted to keep it. She also wanted it. We marked our territory and the men scattered.

Finally, I had snapped and the fallout was ugly. I implied in an email to my realtor she was a bully. I demanded a deadline to accept my terms. And worse of all, I sent a really horrible email to my husband. Truthfully, not a soul was spared.

Thankfully, in times of stress, my husband has always been the more calm, level-headed person. He quickly called me and said, "What's going on?" I didn't answer but started to choke back tears. Then he asked, "can you talk about it? Do you not want to move?"

Then it was like a water balloon popped and all of the formerly contained liquid flowed out. I realized that I was acting like a three-year-old. As my grandmother would say, it was a hissy fit of grand proportions. I finally told him, it's not the refrigerator, or this couple, or the realtors. For me, the refrigerator was symbolic.

One of the hardest things about battling cancer is the loss of control. And for the last year and a half, my life has been out of control and/or been on hold. I lost my job in December 2009, the same month I was diagnosed. Over the next year, I went through surgeries, doctors, radiologists and nurses. Each telling me what to do, when and how. Then, my husband got a wonderful job opportunity in Corpus Christi and went down there while I tried to sell this house. For nine months I've been keeping two kids, two dogs and a turtle fed and maintained. Not to mention keeping the house show ready for a possible buyer. I haven't wanted to take on many volunteer jobs or part-time work due to our uncertain moving date. And of course, there's the loneliness of being without my husband.

So, for me, the refrigerator was the final straw. I wasn't going to budge. I had to have a victory no matter how small or silly. Luckily for me, my husband was so understanding and compassionate. He called our realtor and worked on an alternate solution. In the end, I'm keeping my refrigerator and walking away with a small victory. I did call my realtor and left an apology. I'm sure she saw my number come up on Caller ID and screened it. I don't blame her. But later she called me and thanked me for my apology.  I also apologized for my email to my husband. See, I'm not totally without any redeemable traits.

Now, were starting the clean out drawers and have found a small rental until we find our new house. And all is calm again.

Wondering why my husband puts up with me at times.

The Wondering Texan

Little Man Turns 10

My youngest is turning 10 this Sunday. It's hard to believe!

As I have said before, boys are worlds apart from girls in attitude, physical activity and general hygiene. I've also learned that when a boy turns 10, it's a right of passage celebrated by other men. Or at least among our Texas friends. It started a few months ago when my husband and son started talking about guns at the dinner table. Our daughter and I looked at each other and wondered, "does this have to be discussed at the dinner table?!"

So, the big question has been what kind of gun to get him. My husband says he needs an "over and under" gun. Wyatt already has a Red Rider BB gun that he shoots squirrels in the backyard. I protested the BB gun saying he was going to shoot his eye out. But, I lost that battle. I know that eventually I'm going to lose this battle too.

When we went a couple of weeks ago to Abilene to visit friends, I was hoping to gain some support for my belief that he's too young. Well, all I can say is...don't go to West Texas and be around a bunch of hunters and cowboys and expect any kind of understanding. Instead of seeing my point of view, they started to talk bartering and trading guns, offering Wyatt one of theirs in exchange for some of my husbands, etc. I lost track of who was up a gun and who was down.

In all honesty, I knew this day would come. I just didn't think it would be 10 years later -- exactly. When he was born, one of my fondest memories is of him sleeping on my chest in the hospital room. It was quiet, and my husband and daughter had gone home. There were no visitors. It was a perfect slice of heaven until a nurse came in.

So, here we are a decade later. I went out today to Walmart to buy his present. No, it's not a gun. Since my husband was at work, I took total advantage of his busy schedule and bought safer options.

Wondering if my husband, his friends and all male members of our family will forget this gun business.

The Wondering Texan

Goodbye Open Fields

The live oaks are amazing

Well, I'm kind of depressed today. First, we're still trying to come to terms on the sale of our house. Additionally, my stepmother has sold her ranch in the Texas Hill Country.

They've been married about three years and the ranch has been a great place for the two families to get acquainted and form bonds. The open fields, stock tank, warm home and great Texas barbecue have provided a soothing salve after my mother's passing of Lou Gehrig's, cancer treatment and various other routine pressures. And of course, it's where we saw the totally awesome TCU Horned Frogs win the Rose Bowl!

Enchanted Rock

It's amazing to me in this day of technology how being disconnected from the Internet, big cities and daily grind can help families reconnect. Even the kids really don't miss the Internet. OK, I admit it, there's basic cable TV, but it's kind of funny to see my kids try to TIVO or rent pay-per-view. They look at us like they've been blasted back to 1995 except that was before they were born. So, we all play board games, swim, fish, put together puzzles and climb trees. It brings back memories of being a child in the 1970s.

The cows and our boy

So, here are a few photos of the ranch. For people who think Texas isn't pretty, well, all I have to say is you haven't seen all of Texas. The Texas Hill Country, Big Bend, the Panhandle, East Texas, the Coast, and of course, weird Austin, are all places that should be seen and experienced. 

Wondering if any other state is as diverse as Texas. Good talking to ya'll.

Austin stone is beautiful.

Early driving lesson on the mule.

Tree climbing 101.

I Think It's Sold

Well, I think (for real this time) our house has sold. The buyers have three boys under the age of 7 and mortgaging their life away. But, that's not our problem!

Anyway, we will be closing on June 17 and moving down to Rockport, Texas. Initially, we're thinking of renting a beach house for a month or so until we find the perfect home. I'd better load up on the SPF.

So, which was harder? Selling this house or going through cancer treatment? Hands down, selling this house! You wouldn't believe the people out there and demands they try to make. Sure, no problem, would you like for us to put your first child through college too?

What's so funny is my online purchased pot rack both buyers wanted. What? Do they not make pot racks anymore? It's funny what people want. Maybe I could leave our French Britney Spaniel dog behind. Maybe they won't notice that. Finders, keepers.

So, the search starts for a new home. I've given the real estate agent down there my list of "musts." My husband doesn't think bathrooms are important as long as the garage is big. I'm starting to feel sorry for Agent Shirley. She has no idea what kind of summer she's in for!

Wondering why men and women differ so much on what the "perfect" home is.

The Wondering Texan

Harley, You Have Me Smitten

I had a great Mother's Day weekend. I hope everyone else did too. Over the weekend, I did something completely forbidden as a child by my parents. Dad, if you're reading this, stop. I rode on the back of a Harley Davidson motorcycle.

Cool riders and the monkeys

As a kid, the dad of one of my best friends was an orthopedic surgeon. He constantly told us, "all I do is put people back together after a motorcycle accident." And as a strange twist of irony, his son lost his arm years later in a motorcycle accident.

But, there I was riding on the back of the bike with a neighbor through the open pastures of Westlake on a gorgeous spring evening. It was magical. For one of the few times in my life, I felt cool -- figuratively.

This neighbor showed up on his Harley to visit with us and then offered me a ride. At first, I was nervous. My first thought was that I should have worn my steel-toed boots from my previous railroad work. And the boots would have looked cooler than my sneakers. Not that we looked like "real" bikers. More like characters from the movie Wild Hogs.

But the sound, the power, and the wind was so cool. Other bikers waved to us.  It was thrilling.

When we got back to the house, Mike asked me if I was nervous. "No, once I got the feel of it. It was great." My husband on the other hand interjected, "I was nervous."

So, I can now officially check off another item on my bucket list. Only about a thousand more things to do.

Wondering if a person can rent a Harley and cruise down the Pacific Highway in California? I'm sure I can talk my husband into that.

The Wondering Texan

Living the Vida Loca

OK, my husband said something really upsetting to me the other day. He told me that "you always do the right thing." When I asked him what that meant, he said, "well, people can always count on you. You always get things done. You are always responsible."

Not me. But pretty funny.

Ouch!!!! I don't want to be responsible or dependable or, at times, even likable anymore.That was the former me. Now, I want to be careless, reckless and never predictable. I want...I want a red corvette. Preferably a convertible. I told him this several months ago and he raised an eyebrow and said, "what? I never knew this about you." It's true. It's a secret I've held for at least two decades. So, as soon as we can, I'm getting a corvette. Why not? We can finally afford the insurance.

Then I told him, "you know what you need?" He looked at me fearful. "You need a big F150 truck." He almost started to stutter. "You had a truck when we married," I said. "Yes, a Toyota. You hated that truck." I hated it because it was a standard. When we were newlyweds, I tried to move it out of the driveway early one morning without waking him. It stalled in the middle of our street and wouldn't budge. So, I had no choice but to wake him to move his truck. He put on clothes, went to the driveway, then looked down the street where it was sitting. "What? How in the hell did my truck get in the middle of the street?"he asked.

So, after I told him of his need for a F150, he said, "I have a Toyota FJ Cruiser. You don't like it. You say it drives like a truck."

OK, maybe the truck wasn't the best idea. But I have many more. I don't know if it's coming in contact with a serious illness or middle-age craziness, or perhaps it's a combo deal, but I know I don't want to be the old dependable me.

I asked my survivor buddy Sara today if she's feeling the same way. She confirmed she is, but not as zany. We just don't give a rat anymore.

So, I don't care anymore how crazy the idea. The other night I told my husband that before we leave our golf course home, we should run naked in the middle of the night down the course. Today I told him, "do you know how many husbands would love to be presented with these opportunities!" He just laughed.

Wondering, if it's fun and doesn't harm anyone, why not?

The Wondering Texan