| Remember this cute advertisement from the '60s? Then you're getting old. |
"I'm having hot flashes and have been a little light-headed," said Amy who is 49. And she missed her last period. So she ran to the drugstore for a home pregnancy test.
"I felt like a teenager hoping that no one I know would see me with an E.P.T. kit in my basket," she said. "It was awful but luckily the test came back negative." Which made her even more nervous prompting a visit to her doctor for tests.
"He came back and told me I'm in full blown menopause," Amy said. "Apparently all of my hormones nose-dived in about a day. So he put me on some mild hormones."
I can relate to the hot flashes. Since being on Tamoxifen to reduce the chances of my cancer recurring, I've been in menopause too. But I can't take any hormones. I never know if a room is warm or if I'm hot.
"Well you're lucky you can take hormones," I told her to which she quickly responded.
"But you're getting new girls this summer and they're going to be all perky and pretty," she said.
"True, but although my new ta-ta's will be circa 2012, the rest of me will be circa 1964," I laughed. Plus, I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone just for new speed bumps.
This led to talk about our body parts that at one time used to be taunt, perky and wrinkle-free.
Since turning 40, my thighs somehow incurred hail damage. But lately the hail damage has melted into ocean waves crashing down on my thighs. Apparently, Amy's thighs have had the same fate. And we're ladies who have BMI's proportionate to our height!
Then there's the diminished eyesight, gray strands and chin hairs. The ladies in my water aerobics class tell me, "Oh, that's nothing! Wait until you get to be ...60, 70, 80."
I shudder at the thought.
So, I wonder when do you just give up and let the chin hairs grow?
Don't know, but for now I've decided not to go down easily. Now pass the wax.
The Wondering Texan
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