This morning I was with my dog walking buddy who commented that she just read an article about teaching children grace. Her daughter has recently started to ride horses again after being thrown, injuring her shoulder which required surgery. She's starting out slow until the doctor gives her the full go-ahead. Earlier this week, her daughter's horse spooked and another girl snipped, "well, you just need to learn to ride him." So, my friend asked, "how do we teach our kids grace when people make remarks like that?"
My friend is originally from up East. I guess she thinks because I'm a Native Texan, I instinctively have grace. You would think so, but, sadly, this is not the case. For example:
Back years ago when I was dating, a guy asked me to take an evening ride with him on his boat. Soon, the boat quit and Mr. X said the tank was out of gas. We drifted around for about 2 hours before he finally gave up, started the boat again, and laughed "Ha, I hit the kill switch." Well, I demanded to be taken back to shore. As we pulled up, Mr. X got on the front of the boat and was reaching out to guide the boat into the dock when I threw the boat into reverse, sending him over the bow into the water. Needless to say, we never went out again.
Unfortunately, grace is not inherited. My maternal side of the family hails for Georgia. They have plenty of grace in that Southern, old charm school way. My Dad's side comes from the East Coast, and I was raised in Texas. Maybe this is why I'm so confused on grace. And it's not like my mother didn't try, bless her heart. She enrolled me in a charm school. But, it's gotten worse since being treated for cancer. The freedom of my speech has never been greater.
Ironically, today my husband was saying in Corpus Christi there's a school for little ladies that we should enroll our daughter in. I looked at him and said, "you know, my mother tried that with me." He said, "yes, I know that." Then I added, "well then, you also know it had no effect." He smiled and laughed, "no, it didn't."
So, how does a gracefully challenged mother guide a 21st Century daughter in the art of grace? Recently, my daughter has had some mean comments directed at her from schoolmates. Things like, "you're dumb" and "you're mean." I've told her to tell the other person, "that's not nice to say." Or, "well, why do you say that?" Or, "kill them with kindness." But, truthfully, it all seems so lame.
So, wondering, how do you teach your children grace?
The Wondering Texan
I've been wondering how to teach my local grandson compassion. He's four and the main thing he got out of Sunday school one week recently was that another little boy pooped his pants. Jacob thought it was cause for great laughter, but I was consumed with sadness for the little boy and his embarrassment.
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