Little White Lies and Other Parenting Truths

The squirrel is sleeping -- really.

Today I'm wondering just how many little white lies, fudges, half-truths and technically correct things we tell our kids between birth and 18 years old.

What got me thinking this was last night's dinner. I decided to try something a little different on my family. I bought flounder stuffed with crab meat since it seems like a crime to live on the coast and not embrace fish. So, when the kids asked what I was making for dinner, I told them, "stuffed chicken. You'll like it." My kids stared at me with these dubious looks. They are getting a little too smart these days.

As they picked apart the "chicken" I thought of all of the stretches of truth we tell kids in an effort to just keep peace or avoid uncomfortable situations. Like last weekend when we were taking the six hour trip back from Fort Worth. For about the last three hours when the kids asked, "how much longer" my husband and I would either say, "Not much," or "Oh, about an hour." Why add misery upon them?

I remember when they were little and I would take them to the pediatrician for a check-up. They would always ask, "are we getting a shot?" I didn't want to outright lie, so I would play Switzerland. "I'm not sure," I would say. "We will have to see what the doctor says."

One of the best little fibs was from my husband a few years ago. We were TV channel surfing with the kids sitting beside us. On one channel a rather risque scene appeared with a man and woman getting hot and heavy (and no, this wasn't on a porno channel). "What are they doing?" one of the kids asked. My clever husband answered, "They're wrestling."

Some early answers were easy:

• Putting the dog down - we put her to sleep.
• Monsters under the bed - we sprayed special "water" under the bed.
• Does Santa exist? - If you believe in your heart he exists.

As the kids get older, the little white lies become more complex. My friends and I have discussed what to say when they ask, "did you ever sneak out of the house?" or "what did you do for fun in college?" As my friend Carol said, "The problem is back in the '80s, a lot was legal which isn't today." So, technically, we weren't breaking any laws except for maybe having common sense. So, when my kids ask these kinds of questions, I think instead of playing Switzerland, I'll play Betty White. It was such a long time ago, I just don't remember. You know, the gray matter in my head has seeped through to my hair.

Just wondering if that excuse will work?

The Wondering Texan